Do You Ever Wonder?

 

I spent most of my life in the church. I was always told that my whole reason for being was to please this invisible being and to follow the plan he had for me. There was just one problem. I had never met this being. I was always told he was there but I never saw anything that showed that to be true in my life. So many things just seemed random and out of place. Why would this be if there was this ultimate creator who had a plan for everyone. Why did he not come down and say: Hey Tiffany, I want you to do this with your life and if you follow this whole plan I laid out for you then life will be great. However, if you deviate from it then there will be problems in your life. This is how the world should work with a god. He should have a real relationship with people. Not give us a book from thousands of years ago that has no mention of any of the amazing discoveries or science we have today.

I often wonder what it is like to be one of the Christians in the church who hear god’s voice. What does it sound like? Why does it always seem to align with what they already believe. If god was real why wouldn’t he challenge us to be smarter and more curious? Why does the god of the Bible demand we stay in a box? There is never an answer for any of it. I am always met with the idea that god’s ways are higher or that because I am human there is no way I could understand this amazing god everyone serves.

When I look at the world through atheist eyes I can see quite clearly that there is no god like the one we have been told exists. He doesn’t come and intervene when things get rough. Her doesn’t save people from tragedy or sickness. If there is a god then he either does not care about humanity or he left us a long time ago and never came back. When I look at the Bible I can see it for what it is. A manmade book filled with violence, slavery, property rights, and misogyny. Anyone who can look at the Bible and call it a good book really needs look at it from our societies mindset because once you do, there is no going back. This book has caused more destruction and hate in the world then I have seen anywhere else.

This is why I am an activist. I choose to tell people the truth. I choose to look at the Bible for what is really is instead of what other people tell me it is. I did not leave the faith because I didn’t believe. I believed wholeheartedly that everything in that book happened. I thought Jesus would come back any day and take me and everyone I knew to heaven forever. I thought I knew truth. Now I know truth is only real when you have evidence. When I used faith there was nothing stopping any other faith from telling me I was wrong because they believed in their religion the same way I believed in mine. And don’t sit there and say I did not try. I tried for 29 years and never got an answer. It was not until I went in search of the truth and not what people claimed was the truth. Jesus was right when he said the truth will set you free.

I have more freedom then I ever had in the church. I can look and read whatever I want to. I don’t have people telling me that the truth is all in one book. It is not all in one book. There are books about science, medicine, anthropology, archeology, religion, and so much more. I am no longer limited to only read books by Christian authors. I am no longer limited to only read books that align with the worldview of the Bible. I can read and learn whatever I want to. I can say what I want. I can think what I want. I can do what I want. And what I choose to do is be an activist against the very harmful and abusive religion in this world that holds people back and keep the world from progressing into a brighter and more healthy future.

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